A Poetry Pandemical pt1

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It’s hard in different ways Getting through these days On a day that looks like it’s sweating off a cold The teacher at her makeshift desk feels old; The anxious learning-disabled young man Cries in a chair with his head … Continued

Stupidity is not the problem

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This is the text of the piece I’m touring around at the moment. There’s a longer version, but this is the shorter version which is about all an audience can possibly stand. STUPIDITY IS NOT THE PROBLEM 1 History lesson … Continued

Hotel Britannia

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As breakfast is braved on blemished plates, Dickens looks down from a dusty frame. Management feel the need to repeat They require ID if clients pay cash. The locked revolving doors are blocked With leaves and moss, the gloss long … Continued


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  Soft and salty crusted with soot, Once bitten, the butter-drenched holes became trees In flaky forests with trunks that flexed And God knows what the stuff on the top was, Brazed like black lead on the range. Because We’d … Continued

Northern Powerhouse

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  We’re still here as wind whips white powder across aborted roads till our eyes sting. It sticks in the throat like surrender from the slumped union man, red tie flapping in the coordinated attack from the dust and the … Continued


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  Mad Mal, suffering from PTSD, recovering alcoholic, addicted to Red Bull, the cheap sort, 35p. Haven’t seen him for months. He objected to me calling the police when he rang letting me know he’d decided to top himself and … Continued

Precinct: Salvation Army Man

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  Sally Army Man,                    rattling a plastic can in the doorway of an abandoned BHS branch, believes in creation            as a real thing; Not as dying documents     of pub-dumb facts, but a faith foundation                    of belief in fairness … Continued

This Poetry

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(with apologies to Benjamin Zephaniah).   What’s it all about, then, this poetry? Why d’you bother?   To loosen the noose of expendability; To give us a sense of innate creativity; To get that hissing out of our head,   … Continued

Full English

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  For EDL members and little Englanders everywhere.   Tommy Robinson, whatever your name, I’m glad you’re so keen on English culture. Let’s get together, maybe have a look at some Anglo-Saxon poems, brought over from Norway by Vikings. You’d … Continued

Not Pictured

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Years later, who cares about grains of sand stuck to my feet like chequered memory of table cloths,   or the first taste of strawberry milkshake or spaceship steam coffee machines, the jukebox sound, warm as waves   rolling off … Continued